Gray wet skies overloaded in murky emotions, cloud our sensibilities. Even though spring is upon us, flowers are blooming, the dismal days tend to wear on our perspective. The East Coast and Midwest buried this year in heavy snows, and here in the West where we have had record rains, have had an emotional impact on our attitudes and relationships. I have to admit I reached my limit this week with yet another gray day. It’s easy to become flatlined and uninspired. It affects our immune systems forging an easy path for late winter viruses. (Here we are talking about the weather and you thought this was about sex- well it is, in its own way.)

I know the stars and planets and trines and squares, the moon in this and Venus in that, are all aligning to help us focus on keeping our relationships, leaving our relationships and choosing our best course. Add in a real in-your-face dose of disruptive geothermal activity, geopathic stress, wild unpredictable weather and positive ions and wow! Youre on collision course with strained relationships. I know this to be true from my own family as well as with friends and clients.

The place I am hearing about the greatest amount of stress, lack of intimacy and lack of communication lies around the bedroom. When we are uninspired emotionally, due to fifty shades of real gray hitting our brain centers, our sex life lags. That’s just the way it is. It’s vitally important to keep our purpose alive to keep our relationship valued and intimacy deep. You have no I idea how many times the question of infidelity comes into play in sessions. It’s actually cyclical.  Individuals seek out others for that emotional connectivity when they are not receiving it in the comfort of their own relationship, where their relationships have flatlined.

Of course, we can get into the whole evolutionary story that humans were never meant to be monogamous, however it is a relationship paradigm we have created, with marriage the faithful promise. Okay, so it was based originally on possessions, land rights, progeny, male heirs, and possessive male behavior, but that’s besides the point. It’s inevitably led us to creating better relationships between the sexes.  I have no judgment about extramarital entanglements- as they are surely more complicated- however the one thing I do know for certain is that it impacts the relationship no matter what, even if the other person or partner, doesn’t know. Emotional response and reaction to your partner changes if you bring in another person. It just does.

I feel the most important part if you are flatlined in your personal relationship, is to really assess and address the issues at hand before you embark upon a new journey. Essentially what are the causes behind the gray attitude? Where have you shut down access to deeper emotional connectivity?

When I was younger, I was in that arena and it does hit deeply no matter the side of the fence you’re on or if you’re only on the sidelines. It’s like throwing a stone in a pond. It ripples out across the water continuing to impact the rest of the whole.

If your sex life and intimacy is not at the level you desire, look at yourself and see what needs to shift to help spark your partner. You see, it’s not always about sex but true communicative intimacy. I believe underneath it all, we truly desire that romantic, loving, giving, fun and interactive highly-charged alchemical reaction with our partners. We have a choice. I believe underneath, everyone would choose option A before they brought an option B. Affairs always happen for reasons. They are never random even though circumstances may look that way. They’re usually 10 steps (maybe it’s 50) before it ever occurs that have already taken place. But once that threshold has been crossed, there is no going back. Most important thing too, is whatever your choice and decisions, it’s always important that you can live with the thoughts and memories of the actions.

Again I have no judgment on it either way. We all have the ability to make choices for ourselves. I guess my feeling is if we understand there is more to it than just the sex- there will be ramifications from actions taken, either way- it opens the door to better dialogue and inner communication where good things manifest.

And for those who have worked through and beyond these challenging patterns- bravo! It’s all part of the dance.

In the meantime, and the gray still is influencing flatlined behavior, extra vitamin D is a great quick remedy combined with some good ol’ rock and roll. Or a cheap palette of water colors to discern the 50 shades of mutating, ashen, silvery, steel, iron, smoky, granite, slate, leaden grey.

Here’s to painting 50 shades of gray, Plein Air, in your raincoat.

Cosmic sunshine to you.