“My Body, My Avatar”

Avatar: 1. An icon or figure representing a particular person.

2. A manifestation of a deity or released soul in bodily form; an incarnate divine teacher.

Okay, let’s be honest. Most of us – even men, can you believe it? – have things about ourselves, our bodies, we don’t like. The lists are long. I’m no exception; I’ve always had a perfectionistic tendency. No, that’s not quite accurate. Tendency, my ass! It’s a big wide large streak. My body, my image are definitely part of my perfectionism. The challenge with that notion is, aging does not fit into that perfect paradigm.

This country, perhaps even the world, has body image issues. We largely compare ourselves with others; our faces aren’t pretty enough, rugged and handsome enough, young enough, our asses too big, our boobs too small, our penises average, our heads bald, our skin wrinkled, acned or old. And now we live in a world where fat and unhealthy are the new normal. It’s enough to make us crazy.

In truth this is nothing new to human behavior. We have always valued and venerated men’s valor and sinewy hard bodies, as they’ve been the protectors and providers, and honored women’s gentle beauty and foundational strength for bringing love into our hearts and lives. Cleopatra was known not only for her high intelligence and intellectual canniness, she also was a purveyor of beauty with her many oils and unguents used for her face and body. Today, with the advent of the Internet and beautiful images projected on us daily, it’s easier for us to slide down the rabbit hole of self-destructive comparisons and self image issues.

What if we were to change our concepts and beliefs and reframe how we see and work with our bodies? Visualize our body and our soul as a living working organism of oneness yet separate? What if we were to recognize our eternal sense of beingness, our soul, enters into a bodily construct of its own amazingly brilliant computerized network of cells and systems and electrical currents all working in tandem to form a living harmonious complex for us to reside in? One we created cosmically through our artistic genius to fit our particular needs and story. It becomes us yet is separate. It’s its own living being of fractals and elements that form our own solar system. Our very own playground in which to interact. Our very own special Avatar. An Avatar to love.

What if we were to start having conversations with our Avatar daily, starting with how much we love each and every living cell in our planetary system? What if, instead of the constant, negative, fearful diatribe our background voice is playing, we delete that program and channel our gratitude to this magnificent biological abundance we are fortunate to dance with? Remember in the scheme of things, we are here for only a few short decades. What if by recognizing this brilliant gift we have been given, our bodies become healthy, stronger, more beautiful? What if honoring our Avatar with gratitude we live into our elder decades joyfully and with strength and vitality – beauty too? What if by starting this communication everything in our worlds radically change?

We can then extrapolate and expand on the Hindu definition of an Avatar; an incarnate divine teacher. Our bodies can be our divine teachers of awareness. Pain is a teacher. Misalignment is a teacher. Dis-ease is a teacher. Depression and anxiety are teachers. The list is endless. If we are not 100% healthy, as our body’s Avatar strives daily to be healthy, it is our Avatar’s divine directive to teach us what is emotionally, mentally and physically off kilter, off center, and disconnected from our eternal fuel source. We only need to listen, be aware and connect the dots. There is always a cosmic map.

Think about it. Try it. Do it. You can even name your Avatar, so you can recognize the singularity and the separation, much like the larger cosmic paradox of the universe. There’s so much to be gained. When the last farewell arrives you’ll be able to say in deep appreciation “Thanks much for this great adventure you’ve provided.” For this is the only time when this Avatar and you will be connected. It truly is a gift.

Cosmic sunshine to you.

candiasanders.com

Posted in Anti-Aging: Youthfulness, Be Here Now: The Present, Energy healing, Healing, healing tools, Health, intuitive knowing, Quantum physics, The field of potential, The Body’s Health and Vitality

“What We Do Today Matters Most”

What’s makes us happy? I mean, really? We tend to make things complicated, thinking we need the perfect career, make a million dollars then we’ll be happy. We need to have the love of our lives, then we will be happy. We externalize our happiness quotient outside ourselves instead of reaching within. Same story, different page, same story, different blog. Same story, different person. We have been taught this by our cultural expectations, our families, our history. Hopefully by now with all the self-help, self-awareness available, more would recognize and see a different path to happiness however we really haven’t moved far off the merry-go-round. Depression and high-anxiety run rampant. Remember, depression deals with the past and anxiety is future driven; neither are in the present.

1DB5A1A9-CE17-47FF-B845-BD3D54550EAE

I feel it’s essential to identify the moments, the experiences, the traditions and habits that bring happiness into our daily routines. Yes, I recognize there are things required in being human we can’t avoid like paying taxes, aging, brushing our teeth upon waking. I mean really, even the rich and famous don’t wake up with perfect sweet breath. However it’s in the little things where happiness can be reached and touched everyday if we put our awareness into it completely. Embracing the moment with appreciation and gratitude changes the energy for the rest of the day, brings special opportunities and a sense of completion as we drop off to sleep.

Each day we are born again. What we do today matters most. Buddha 

What does bring a smile? What does bring happiness inside our hearts?

Identify what doesn’t and reach for the opposite. As an example I have truly discovered how much I resist social media. I know it’s smart business-wise yet I truly do not enjoy the time suck required to post this and that. I don’t. I resist, procrastinate and don’t do it like an errant child. Well, it doesn’t bring me joy, so….next. What does?

To me, this is how we narrow our focus, our daily telescope of thought, projection and action into what does propel us forward, no resistance, no complaining.  Like an evening cup of tea staring at the night sky and seeing falling stars with a full moon; this is a Wow! The more we recognize our habits, good and bad, what we resist, what we reach for, the easier it is to identify the daily happiness generators.

433A78DC-06A3-462A-849B-83E98077C30F

There is a percentage of humanity (because animals are just happy be-ing) that reach for intoxicants, drugs, the alcohol to create that happiness, that inner fulfillment…to be out-of-their- minds. In a heavily mind based society it is a way of escaping the over-thinking, over-analyzing way of life.  Okay, their story, no judgment.  But there might be a better healthier path to creating a more heart-filling daily plug-in lifestyle. Besides if a person were truly happy they’d be reaching for the things that feed their souls, nourish their hearts, stimulates the mind. And to me, that’s the ultimate goal of being alive.

*Identify what brings a daily smile. Expand on it everyday.

*Stay out of resistance. If you’re resisting, then it’s time for a change-up. This is a Big One.

*Follow your heart’s guidance, not your ego’s. Therein is the key. This pertains to everything from job direction to sex to loving relationships.

*What nourishes your heart? What feeds your soul? Stimulates your mind? Seek it. Do it.

Its all too easy to go into the negative head-spin. When you do, jump off the merry-go-round, and find the things –Every Single Day– to have appreciation for, that stimulate the love juices.

Really cool stuff happens when you do.

 

candiasanders.com

 

 

Posted in Be Here Now: The Present, Behaviors and bad habits, Behaviors and Good Habits, Brain Functions, healing tools, Health, Intimacy, Love and Romance, Quantum physics, The field of potential, Spiritual wellness | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“High Vibing Alternative to Insecticides, Pesticides, Vermacides: Communicating with Nature”

Summer season means bugs, right? Insects that are biting, crawling nuisances that are simply irritating. Or there are the ones that infest your homes, eating away at your wood to make room for their babies.  Everyone reaches for their phones to call the exterminator! But Wait! There could be another solution.

It’s time to think outside the box, come up with alternative thoughts and actions. We need bugs. They are an essential part of our ecosystems whether we like them or not.  Every time we pollute with insecticides, vermicides, pesticides and all those wonderful chemicals mankind has created to exterminate whatever, we essentially create an imbalance of high magnitude in the soils, water, air and animal, plant, insect kingdoms. We literally kill off not only bugs but the animals that eat the bugs. Everything gets polluted. Negative frequencies, negative wholistic environments.

It’s time for a change-up. If humankind is going to move up the frequency ladder, this is a crucial step.

There are a lot of natural alternatives to implement from planting flower rotations to using clove oil around your house. In fact there are a lot of essential oils from peppermint to citronella to create roadblocks to entering insect (and rodent) irritants.

However there’s an even higher vibing alternative.  Every creature whether insect or plant or animal -even inanimate- has a spark of awareness, of consciousness. It’s what makes this universe we currently reside in, as amazing as it is. Everything has importance, has value, is aware and alive. When we reach out and communicate with the various species with love they will hear and listen. I’ll give you a case in point.

I live off-grid for half the year. It’s not as romantic as it sounds from time to time, when there is no sun for the solar system or when the forest creatures decide your home looks more inviting than theirs. I’ve had my share of critters. Recently I had four different infestations; yellow-jackets were pushing up my ceiling boards on my deck, and two different places inside my cabin had large piles of sawdust from carpenter ants. It’s was time for a large, very clear conversation.

457A984C-E6EB-408F-BEFC-768E01ED10CA

I know, I know. This is a stretch for many people however communicating with nature has been part of the indigenous cultures globally for millennia. We and our modern so called high-tech, mechanistic thinking have lost our connection to nature. It’s that simple. Again, remember everything has consciousness. When we reach to that consciousness, to communicate, pathways open up, the worlds begins to merge.

Think about it as talking to a French man, a Chinese woman, a German, a Russian, a Croatian. Everyone has a different language, everyone has a different outlook based on their location and perspective. The same is true in nature. Learning to communicate through different languages is the essential key.  Garnering respect is also essential. Imagine each of these kingdoms – in this case, insect – has a king or a queen. This is who you direct your communication with and to. They are the governing consciousness that will make the decisions.

The other vital element is coming up with alternatives. It’s like having a bad habit or an addiction. You have to create something to fill that emotional/mental space before the bad habit or addiction is completely removed, like chewing gum instead of smoking, meditating instead of anxious fidgeting/twitching, etc etc. In communication you picture in your mind alternative spaces for the insects, animals to live, as an example. Supply ample pictures of mind projection.

The yellow jackets were at the top of my list to discuss moving their nests into the forest and ants to find a new rotted stump home. In my mind I reached out to their guardians, their overseers, their kings and queens. I visualized alternative living quarters. I said you have an entitle forest in which to inhabit besides my cabin. I’m very forgiving however you are now destroying my home. Not okay. I will give you one week to move out and across the driveway into the woods…Or else Mr. Terminator will Be Here with full barrels.

The bees are gone. The ants are gone. I’m not kidding. My neighbors though unfortunately are infested. We also had a lone male coyote show up. I explained to him if he stuck around he might be hurt so best to move on to greater pastures. Besides, I didn’t want my cat as coyote food. I’ve only seen him once about a month ago. No other signs.

CFF594CE-B69E-4F09-B155-39AD81BDA23F

Working With nature instead of Against her is so much better for the ecology of our world. Before you poo-poo it, try it. Believing humanity isn’t the only knowledgeable species is important. Believing communication is possible is a doorway. The results are amazing and will continue to astound you every single time you’re in tandem with natural forces.

And for those of us who live in and with nature daily it truly makes a giant difference. Better than that is energy, that frequency of communication, gets sent out to other species. Like trees talking with one another. The hundredth monkey syndrome. Each of us has the power to transform our world positively. Make it a priority.

 

Cosmic sunshine to you.

 

 

candiasanders.com

Posted in Behaviors and bad habits, Behaviors and Good Habits, Energy healing, Environmental Change, Health of the Planet, Intuitive Listening, Nature, Nature and a nature spirits, Nature spirits and elementals | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Thirty-Day, Five-Month Transformation Challenge – August through December”

I don’t know about you or where you are or how you think emotionally, mentally, physically or even spiritually, however I do believe we as a species are in this large group dynamic of transformation, whether you feel it or not. Some are saying it’s the Shift, others say we are moving out of 3D into 5D, known as the ascension process, in other circles it’s all about disclosure.  I feel the truth is all of the above. I believe the density of human consciousness is reaching the critical mass to push us up and over the top into a new major paradigm. We are in the midst of great change.

Trans-form to make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character.

Even if you don’t believe any of this and see the world exactly as it’s presented, the truth is there is a ubiquitous powerful transformation happening. All you have to do is pay attention, be aware, observe the good happening. It’s here. It’s apparent. Sift through the crap and chaos and you find it. The more you seek the more visible it becomes till your viewpoint only takes in the beautiful landscape before you. This is the metamorphosis that’s taking place, here, there and over yonder.

Transition the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

This time is a new passage out of old global habits, beliefs, ideologies and into higher awareness out of the strictly me thinking, into awareness of others, with others. The paradox is it’s also time for personal transformation, transition and metamorphosis.  The more you and I are willing to go within altering our cocoon, look at the important things to change and convert into new up-graded versions of attitude and focus – of ourselves – the faster the colorful butterfly emerges strong and beautiful.

C90EDA34-C47F-4190-A162-DC28747110DC

Personally, I feel these next five months are perfect for activating within ourselves intense focus  -big dreaming-  to determine exactly what we desire, want and need in all areas of our lives. When the new year rolls around we will be ready to strike into new territory of exploration and discovery individuality and collectively, because we took the time to be selective and heart-centered.

7E9FB974-1858-410D-B15D-630C74DD44CE

I’m going to utilize each thirty-ish day cycle as the beginning, middle and finalization of particular focus, intention, attention to specific desires – each month’s specific metamorphosis, then collect them in my year-end basket of transformation. I’m actively listening, observing, being mindfully awareness in each given moment. I’d love to have you join me in declaring your desires and needs as in positive numbers, the tipping point gage of global consciousness speeds up. Step into August (love of life, self (diet, exercise) relationships and beauty,) September (work/career/education – new direction, topics,) October (connection to the earth, changing seasons, letting the old fall away,) November (family ties, values, habits, beliefs,) and December (spiritual concepts, beliefs, awareness, openness to larger cosmic principles) all focused on the strong possibility of moving into sunnier days, the beginning of a new golden era of peace and prosperity. Make each day, every moment count.

281C19D6-5DFE-4227-9B75-9EB9F258783C

Life is a beautiful opportunity.

Earth is a cosmic Disneyland of amazing adventures.

Please join me in this transformation. I’d love to hear how, what and where you are.💕

 

Cosmic sunshine to you.☀️

 

candiasanders.com

 

Posted in Ascension, Be Here Now: The Present, Behaviors and bad habits, Energy healing, Good Vibes, healing tools, Healing, Health, Spiritual Concepts, Intuitive Listening, Learned Behaviors, Quantum physics, The field of potential, Spiritual wellness | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“The Musical Composition of Your Soul”

This was my morning “composition” several days ago.

“Our goal is to bridge internally/spiritually the gap between our various lifetimes as well as our bloodlines. We are doing this to some extent- at least those who are the way-showers. We are striving for the hundredth monkey principle, meaning when enough people reach critical point of weight and understanding, everyone globally will inherently be closing the gap on conscious awakening. The key is to reveal our pasts and truly see the duality within ourselves; our “controlling interests” if you will. When we connect the opposition and unite the principles within ourselves, the outer world replies in kind.

Externally we are seeking partners of similar frequency, background, understanding and ironically even blood lines, as they carry familial stories. Even our DNA sparks similar frequencies in others initiating “bridging the consciousness gap” through our emotional relationships. DNA is like a light shining brightly into the universe our particular coding, our vibrational location. It’s literally an alchemical reaction. Attraction happens on multiple levels – physical looks, smells, backgrounds, tastes, intelligence, commonality and also DNA match-up. For those who part ways, as an example – DNA has also had an impact. If the two DNA frequencies don’t align and evolve, they will separate. The helixes have to mutually sing/vibrate for the harmonizing of the souls while in body. We attract those of varying frequencies and sounds to literally create new chords within ourselves to compose a soul fugue, sonata, orchestral piece, etc. That’s why the great composers still hold the weight they do today musically because they were/are aligning DNA within themselves and the audience. When played (when we play -double entendre here- within the music) together it created/creates harmony.

img_0499-1

We choose dissidence even in music, to express conflict and disharmony and opposition, to feel the division, hear/experience the discord, literally play within the friction because this creates fuel and fire and form. We learn from it. But underneath we are always seeking the frequency wave that allows our blood to flow freely, to have our souls sing, vibrate at their highest. Ironically we as souls on the earth-plane don’t create this expression often, primarily because we have forgotten how to sing the harmony within ourselves first, to flow within the tonal qualities of our soul co-joined with the earth experience.

Find the harmonies within yourself, the sounds that most ideally suit your soul orchestration and score. The path of your life opens up when you do. The body becomes healthy. Young. Love follows. Your sound travels outwards into the cosmos seeking, searching for balance and harmonies, literally around the earth. They land on those whose vibrations and tonal qualities are similar or the same and their soul’s respond. You are always internally seeking these higher vibrational matches with family, friends, lovers, clients, co-workers. The more you stay in your harmonic pulse the more it is sent out to the world, not only helping others to find their alignment, it also draws to you those of ‘like’ harmonic chords. These frequencies are so subtle they cannot be heard, however on the quantum level they are singing continually. The key is always finding your notes, what makes your heart soar, your body feel well, your brain to function brilliantly. Once there, those frequency chords go into the cosmic freeway. This is why it’s so important to have your continuing opera as vibrationally clear as possible.

It’s essential to remove any discordant vibes that have overlain your composition; clear them out. Don’t accept them as yours. Imagine you are Bach, Mozart, Beethoven. See the scores everywhere on paper. Follow the instantaneous writing. See the discarded paper strewn or rolled into heaps of debris. These are the overlays that need to go in the trash. Find these and burn them. Clear your space. Make it a ritual. When new people or friends or lovers move into your space it is important to maintain your song; you can match-up and create a melodic harmonic duo/trio/quartet/quintet etc., but you’ll never hear the consonance if you are overly-merged or co-dependent. You can touch and align but separate oneness is the key – yet paradoxical. You are one yet always independent, a continual eternal melody of expansion.

CDB56D2E-17AE-4883-9DDF-EECAE53325BD

You can also be an octave apart in relationship coding yet still in harmony, as in one C to a C an octave higher. Hear the overtones. Your growth might be at different levels yet still in sync. The expansion rate will be the determining factor in its longevity.

If in time, it’s challenging to keep yourself clear with partners, friends, even family, and they no longer align to your soul polyphony, it is essential to remove their overlays and extend your frequencies outwardly so as to align with other harmonics, extending your notes, chords, orchestral expansion. There are similar notes that you can relate to within these connections however sometimes they’re too distant or dissonant to correlate into your themes. Sometimes with discord the song can continue, however if it becomes too incongruent it will dissolve. Your personal score continues melodically by bringing in other components, notes, instruments and harmonies.

Sometimes you will discover, chords align but discordant notes that twang in the background are off-setting. That’s why being alone is preferential so as to keep your vibrational song strong. Get into the habit of checking in with the DNA of your body harmonizing it with your soul DNA. This will amp things up for you in new ways. When you’re in alignment with the full instrumental sections of your emotions, mind, body and spirit, it’s a reminder you are once again ready to join life’s evolving symphony. You are eternally redefining your original masterpiece, your original musical score.”

May you always be the best composer of your life’s journey.

Cosmic sunshine to you.

candiasanders.com

Posted in Be Here Now: The Present, healing tools, Healing, Health, Spiritual Concepts, intuitive knowing, Intuitive Listening, psychic insights, relationships, Romance, Self Confidence and Self Esteem, Spiritual Concepts, Spiritual wellness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Cracked Rear View: Three Tools to Regain Clarity”

No this isn’t about Hootie and the Blowfish’s breakout album, Cracked Rear View, 1994, though that’s a great album. Glad to see them together on tour. I mean, who doesn’t love Darius Rucker, right? Actually this is more of a visually oriented concept of our emotionally-complicated, demanding, action-driven lives. We tend to look through a cracked rear mirror at our circumstances.

A woman looks through a colourful broken window.

Think about it. Circumstances arrive. Life moves forward. It stagnates. Good, bad, or otherwise. Shit hits the fan. Our windows shatter and the glass shards scatter on the floor, our emotional selves splintered. We gather the pieces, gluing them back together with determination and tears and move forward the best we are able. When we now view ourselves through our newly reorganized mirrored-glass, our reflection duplicates the multiple reconstructed pieces (emotional aspects.) Our visage is replicated in our mirrors, the people in our personal world, our lives; in other words, the cracked rear view. (Rear meaning the past, staying stuck in past programming.) Over time, with repeat performances, our outlook on our lives becomes broken, shattered, scattered from our true natures, our true reality. We then believe this is the “nature of our reality.” Why? Because this is the way we believe life is. When in truth, it’s not; we have just created it this way.

Ironically too, this lens can become even more complicated with other broken mirrors overlaying ours due to social and familiar influences. In other words we take on others’ stories, driving their broken vehicles with cracked windshields, thinking that is what is required. Soon we are unable to see but through a very narrow limiting corner, yet due to years of conditioning we are no longer aware of what we are actually missing. We continue to repeat the same patterns, the same bad habits, because one, we don’t actually see them for what they are, detrimental to our health and vitality, and or they’re so engrained in our daily fabric, we perpetuate the cracked and dysfunctional traits and behaviors blaming the outside world.

I’m a believer in the power of the mind. I believe we can achieve anything simply by changing -literally- our thinking, our minds. The force and or power behind the mindset shift, is believing it possible, seeing it possible and feeling it possible.

Back to the mirror analogy. There are several tools we can play with to open up our vantage point, to see life through a broader concept, expand awareness and consciousness. Being willing to leave the emotional junk yard behind is essential. Desiring a more whole-some (whole, complete and with some more extras) clear-sighted vision of what we’re here for in this current lifetime, understand the reasons for all the crazy, tumultuous adventures that have shaped our lives, comprehend the reasons behind poor choices, lack of self love, to killer experiences, is the invisible-strong-glass-glue that rebuilds our window. When our lens are clear, the mirror clean and smooth, anything is possible.

Self healing options for restoring the cracked view. Can use one or all in your visuals:

1. See all the cracked and broken pieces as a stained glass window. In your mind recut and organize them into a beautifully intricate and revealing glass window of your life. See life through this colorfully bright and loving lens. In doing this, you are taking your life’s design into your creative hands. You are no longer the broken pieces, you are the artist. Make this a daily visual to begin or end the day. Continue to add and design the life you desire by utilizing the bold stained glass colors in your world.

2. Call in aid if needed, an angel, a prophet, an enlightened being, your higher self. You’re holding the magical and invisible glass glue. You’ve reformed and reshaped all the pieces of your life-lens in exactly the order you desire and have dreamed about. You with help, squeeze the glue into all cracks and crevices uniting the shards into wholeness. All remnants of broken elements have disappeared. You are now clear to see and be your own soul, your own being.

3. In your mind, you are driving life’s abundant highway. The views and attractions spectacular and beautiful. The colors bold, strong and vivid. The windshield is perfectly designed with new high-tech zero-glitch glass. It’s as if there is nothing between you and your experiences, the view authentic, detailed, striking. The side right mirror is cracked. You’ve chosen not to replace it as a reminder your past is past, the cracked rear view  no longer applicable in your new stimulating, creatively-vibrant life.

Repeat daily till it becomes a healthy habit of creativity and strong grounding beliefs.

613517F1-0656-446A-8A82-FFCA550F56CF

How do we know if we need an upgraded perspective, a different viewing platform? If there is a lack of self love. If there are doubts involving our abilities, talents. If there are relationship issues. If there are any and I mean any health issues from perpetual colds, sinus issues, the flu every winter, aches and pains, nervous system issues, depression, anxiety, diagnosed disease, ad infinitum, then it’s time for the cracked rear view to be the side story rather than the one we are currently living.

 

May the stained glass of your reality be stunning, magical, bright and bold.

 

Cosmic sunshine to you.

 

candiasanders.com

 

Posted in Be Here Now: The Present, Behaviors and bad habits, Brain Functions, Healing, healing tools, Healing, Health, Spiritual Concepts, intuitive knowing, Learned Behaviors, Quantum physics, The field of potential, Self Confidence and Self Esteem, Spiritual wellness | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“The 75%-25% Relationship Rule”

What do you think is the purpose of each of our lives? Have you thought about it or do you go about what you’re doing, just doing? From where I sit I believe the most vital pieces are learning our own source of power, our self value and our intrinsic ability to love deeply. Our greatest source of wisdom, learning and joy come from our relationships and all our loves, in all their guises, disguises, and get-ups. The reason is we have the greatest capacity for growth, awareness and self reflection via the relationships avenue. Earth is a wild cacophony of giddy love rushes and crushing heart aches, all with a greater purpose: to expand our awareness.

We all desire heart connections, even those seeking quick fixes and sexual rushes, deep down desire to be valued for their inner beings, their hearts, their souls. That’s why we signed up for this E-ticket ride; to love and be loved. But honestly we really get it screwed-up (literally) a lot. Just look, I mean 100% at your own experiences. What was it that drove you in each connection? Each love interest? Lust? Conquest? Power? Validation you’re a good person worthy of love? True heart connection? Family pressure? Safety? Outward appearances? We stay, we move on. Each connection having laid a frequency stamp in our bodies, in our hearts and in our thoughts that impacts the next relationship. (And sexually – each person you’ve ever had a sexual exchange leaves not only an emotional imprint but also a physical one in your body. Makes one be a bit smarter in their choices because you may not want “that” energy with you a lifetime. Just sayin.’)

When we do click with someone, it’s the good 75/25 rule.  75% works between the smitten individuals at the beginning and basically continues if nurtured. It can grow to 80-85% in time if both parties are willing to expand and experience and value the other. The 25% is the learning curve, what doesn’t work. The 25% can also take over and diminish the 75% shrinking the positive percentage. That’s the time to say auf wiedersehen, audios, farewell, asta’la pizza.  Are they things that can change, be overlooked or are they eventually so detrimental the relationship crumbles?  This sounds cynical however it’s actually not. It’s what we agree to prior to relationship connections. They are our soul contracts to better our frequencies and soul vibrations. As remember everything is frequency. This applies to all relationships whether they are love connections, work related, whatever. The ones we have zing with are our contracts. You know the ones you can’t live with or without? Contracts.

The 25% is our soul guiding us to greater clarity of what we desire or don’t. Options are we can either give into the 25% allowing ourselves to be caught in the dramas, become resentful and angry, or we can compromise too much trying to manage a sinking ship. We hang on often times due to external pressures instead of being true to ourselves. The next element is we can learn to see past the 25% mitigating their negative influences into our experiences. The 25% is also the place of our greatest growth.

E414BA5E-8546-469B-ABA1-1C06B6547C94

I’ll give you a personal story.

I was with a man for three years that was a Duke graduate, handsome, classy, well dressed, an intellect, sharp and savvy, successful, quick witted and funny, a great athlete, kind and compassionate, insightful, and probably knew me better than any man ever has. He was open to ideas, loved me for who I am, was willing to expand his thinking and concepts, surprised me with trips and exciting vacations, bought things he knew I’d love. He wrote me romantic poetry, took me to theater and concerts and we hiked in the summer, skied in the winter. We had the most voracious long conversations regularly that inspired my thinking, much like fuel to a race car. Pretty idyllic. However, I called the wedding off several weeks before it was to happen. Why? The 25%. They were valid and positively impacted my decision.

Even with all the emotional, mental and physical elements in place, my 25% took over. I listened and let it steer my strong intuition. In my 25% were these issues. Not many really, but big heavy weights for me.  He drank too much. Everyday he’d have several mixed drinks. His father was an alcoholic; not a good lineage. I didn’t want to live with an alcoholic. I’ve never been a big drinker, but I completely stopped in those three years as a mirror hoping for change. He was a smoker. Smoked a half a pack or more a day. He’d had open heart surgery at 16; a recipe just waiting for catastrophe. I gave it three years for a positive shift, long enough to take action. There were also several other factors, one being he was twelve years older; I could see the writing on the wall. Two, for me, he wasn’t driven enough. He was content. I stayed in touch with him through the years and talked to him a week before he died of cancer. My contract was closed. In this case my 25% guided me to my next best adventure. It helped me see past the 75%.

My invitation is to examine all the things you love about your relationships and be honest with that 25%. It sheds light on the best and optimal soul direction. Not every relationship is to last. Not all are meant to fall away. Look at what can be minimized and let go and ones that are deal breakers. Listen to your heart. Not everyone’s 25% is identical; what I’ll sweep under the rug is a nail biter for another. And there’s a 25%- nail biting. Or lack of follow through, not doing what you say you’re going to, control, meanness, lack of generosity, bad habits, being close-minded, lack of intellectual curiosity, lack of class, lack of conscious awareness of self, lack of self reflection, unwillingness to change and grow…..etc etc etc. The 25% adds very clear contrast on what we don’t want, shedding light on their opposites; the attributes we really desire.

C5277F22-B191-4A0F-A37F-1AE0C58B5E81

The happiest relationships are the ones where each person is valued and respected, where the give and take is equal, the learning and expansion balanced, each being a good mirror for the other. Each partner brings emotional weight for the offering; “What can I do for you today?” The individuals help the other to become more of who they are, to be their greatest potential. They’re also where the open lines of communication clear the path for the most incredible life adventures. Then the 75% moves to the finish line, obliterating the 25%.

 

To love.

 

Cosmic sunshine to you.

 

candiasanders.com

 

Posted in Behaviors and bad habits, Behaviors and Good Habits, Intimacy, Intuition, Intuitive Listening, Love and Romance, Masculine and feminine, relationships, Romance, Sex, Spiritual wellness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment