We all deal with challenges, controversy and emotional obstacles throughout the course of our lives. Even if we practice regular meditation, positive visuals, maintain a happy attitude, events, places and even more importantly people and memories, can trigger an internal reaction that can set us back. It’s then, the karmic gods are letting us know we still have unresolved memories connecting situations and emotional behavior together. The insightful quote by Anonymous, “We will continue to be tested until we are no longer triggered,” clearly illustrates this point.
If you are willing to really assess and examine your reaction to a situation or person, memories will flood your mind, taking you down all kinds of dark and uncomfortable corridors. What is presented is a super opportunity to recognize your part in the story, your role in the creation. Taking responsibility for your past actions, re-actions or lack of actions through hind-sight will also neutralize the impact of rejection. Bottom line, most issues boil down to rejection and fear. Identify too, how the trigger is reminiscent of similar events with familiar outcomes- repeating patterns. When you honestly observe your reactions and understand your underlying hurts and fears, getting off the pattern-merry-go-round is possible, freedom is imminent, and real happiness available. This is really what it means to be karma-free. The key of course is you have to be willing to do the work.
I’ll give a personal example. Statistics reveal the divorce rate currently is running steady with the rate of marriages or even sometimes higher. This states that one out of two adults and their children have dealt with the ramifications of separation and divorce, myself included. The underlying emotions of divorce include guilt, remorse, loss, grief, regret, anger, fear, rejection and sadness. These emotions then can transfer blame onto others rather than looking yourself square in the eye. You/I/We are always a part of the equation. But the larger issue is, after time has moved on, current events linking people and hurts, and in this example, divorce, can re-emerge, revealing old unresolved emotions and links to the past. A case in point. When I was divorced, friends chose sides between my husband and myself. It was painful, as from my location, they were not involved in my daily personal relationship with him. In other words, I was rejected without a fair hearing. Those hurts remained buried until recently when I have had the opportunity to look at them again, ten years later.
I have a choice. I can still be upset, hurt or feel rejected. Or, I can see what and where I can learn from these darker emotions, recognizing my part, such as in this case, holding onto the painfulness, transmuting the sadness to a higher vibrational emotion. I have examined my actions to see if I have rejected someone based on perceptions and partial evidence, to forgive myself, and subsequently send them love and support energetically, no matter where they are. I want the playing fields clean, the stage of life illuminated, the karma neutralized. I also have the choice and ability to not take it personally. The second of “The Four Agreements,” in Miguel Angel Ruiz’s best selling book, states basically and succinctly, “to not take anything personally.” It’s the most challenging of the agreements in my opinion. When we can let situations and behaviors roll off our backs realizing there are larger playing pieces being used and it’s basically, “not our story,” we again free ourselves from the old hooks and bondage. Realizing it is we who are the ones who shackle ourselves to the past, not others, is vital to the healing process.
Emotional triggers are wonderful opportunities arriving on our doorsteps at opportune times to propel us forward into our better selves.
Adversarial Challenges, Emotional Triggers = Opportunities of Accelerated Growth.
Here is a an outline you can follow then next time a Trigger arrives.
1. Identify person, event, location, memory and emotion connected to the emotional gut response, which rears its head in our third chakra, the solar plexus, the seat of self confidence and self esteem. (Big surprise- not!)
2. Dissect the emotion(s) down to the final base-line, raw emotion, such as anger – hurt – sadness – rejection – fear. Now you’re there.
3. What are you afraid of? More rejection, more sadness?
4. Realize you’re in charge of your emotions.
5. Forgive the people, offenders perpetrators. Forgive yourself.
6. Recognize similar behaviors in yourself. Again forgive.
7. Realize these are past events and not in present time.
8. Stay present. Focus on the beauty around you; the sky, the trees, the flowers, the stars.
9. Be grateful for all the good in your life from people, to animals to events, to life.
10. Bottom line, by changing your perceptions, your reactions to responsive positive choices, enables self empowerment and freedom.
11. Imagine bringing the sun into the crown of your head dropping it down to your solar plexus lighting and illuminating all the dark fearful corners. This instills and propagates self confidence as we realize the fears are irrational and small.
12. Repeat if necessary until the trigger no longer is pulled or ignited.
Know rejection is only a perception at the moment. It is a key to our emotional transformation. In truth, we are never separated.
Cosmic sunshine to you.