Hopefully, we all grow. Our goal is to become wiser, richer in spirit and more of who we came here to be. Ironically, we see ourselves evolving and changing however we tend to believe those around us, those individuals in our lives whom we love, are invested in and/or are challenged by, are still stuck in their old behavior. We react to them based on past conditioning rather than appreciating the vast hurdles they’ve leapt to be in a new location, a new space of behaving.
A case in point. I have an incredible client who has been working diligently towards health and wellness. He has been wracked with bladder and intestinal cancer. The good news is the bladder cancer is gone, the intestinal near zero, a few last vestiges remaining in the lymph nodes. He and I have had the grand fortune of working together the last eight months. The progress he has made has been phenomenal. A part of his new regime, in addition to dietary changes, vitamins and supplements, visualizations and exercise, is he added meditation. It’s all a perfect combo platter for healthy cells. A very loving and supportive friend who has been willing to help him through the process was discussing his meditative practices, making cynical remarks based on past behavior and again “past” lack-of-follow through. My client realized his friend’s reactive behavior, actually calling him on it, and asked him please to respect his new way of acting, behaving ~ being. It’s a perfect example of how we keep others stuck in their former behaviors simply by believing it “to be the way it will always be.”
The irony is, the more we hold a person back, believe they will never change based on the 99 times before, never fully accrediting the 100th time, that miracles can and do happen, we actually impede their development. Change~ growth~ is not only possible but imminent. The more you see them from their higher self perspective, ackowledge they can be who they say they are “today” ~ not yesterday, last year, or a decade ago ~ the more they will rise to the occasion.
I am also guilty of this. As many of you know, my husband has been working through his cancer. His natural tendency is to skate. His behavior is to try something for a day or two and forget about it. He has demonstrated this behavior to me countless times over the past decade, however, he made a new commitment to himself to hold steady to the plan. My first ” reaction” is skeptical and cynical. A better option is to respond positively to his new strong firm belief to reinforce his behavior. The more I believe he is capable of change the more he will also respond in kind. I am his best mirror. My client was my mirror reminding me of my own behavior. What a wonderful gift!
If you were dealing with someone who is trying to revise patterns, help them by believing in them. The more your belief affirms their new behavior the more likely it will stick around. It is absolutely a win-win for everyone. Just remember we are all reflections. The more we see ourselves,the faster things will change.
Cosmic sunshine to you.