“The Experiences that Define Us or Not: Rape in a Co-Ed Toilette”

We are a sum total of our experiences. Period. Everything we think, believe, act upon, are from our experiences.


1. Noun:  practical contact with and observation of facts or events.

2. Verb: encounter or undergo (an event or occurrence).

It’s how we chose to interface with our experiences, carry them with us, let go, and/or embrace them that defines who we are.  We are a total amalgamation of color and spice, flavor and scent, time and adventure. Of course some of these experiences are simply fantastic, the adventures rich, the emotions deep. The memory photo albums are thick with long tales of laughter and love. This is the action part of the word itself, the verb form of experience, the “undergoing of the event.”   These are the experiences we collect, savor and save and throw into our emotional Lifepack, the only thing we can take with us when we leave this reality.

Then there’s the other side of the river with the opposite set of experiences filled with dark shadows and gloomy emotions. They are the important character-builder-experiences we can choose to grow from – or not. Become the victim or not.  An important element to consider and essentially remember is the experience is just that, an experience. This is where the noun element of the word experience comes into focus: practical contact and observation of facts and events.  When life throws us a major curve ball, it’s essential to observe the experience not taking it on, letting it dissolve and disappear into the ethers so it doesn’t jump into our lifepack on its own. In other words, when we are the observer the events aren’t life deminishing.


A case in point. A client was recently raped in a euro community restroom/toilet. The perp slammed-dunked her as she tried to exit taking her completely by surprise. The positives are she kept her head, got the police and hospital involved and had him arrested. But subsequently she’s been dealing with the self torture, guilt and personal recriminations of how could this have happened? Could she have avoided it? It’s been an emotional headtrip of replaying the story a zillion times in her head. Recognizing it’s a past experience that is NOT her, is the baseline emotional solution. Replaying the scene as the observer and incorporating herself as a super hero/ine adds the inner strength of confidence and resolve that reshapes history.


We change our memories each time we tell the story. New elements are added and deleted within the brain literally shifting the meaning and memories, creating new synapses and electrical links. Knowing this we have the advantage of rewriting old scripts and reshaping our personal histories into better stronger faster brighter resolutions.  

Taking this one more step, imagine an image of a person walking with the sun behind them, the silhouette strong yet softened by the glow of light. The details become muted. As they walk shadow colors drop in the wake of movement and dissolve into the space behind them. These dissolved colors are the events and experiences the person no longer needs to have in their personal space and memories; through intention they allow the story to flow into the past. It becomes like watching a movie where we can relate to the emotions, fears, sadness, experiences, you name it, simultaneously allowing the negative energies to flow through and beyond them and ourselves. This creates clarity and a new life chapter.


Bottom line: shit happens and in this case really horrible negative shit. But we each have the option to take the strengths or the negatives with us in our Lifepacks. Because even in the face of deep adversity, inner core strength is gained, maybe more so.

We can choose which life-altering, rock-our-boat-memories and experiences we hold in our hearts and take with us on our final sunset. Again, it’s how we Choose to “carry, let go, embrace”  each of these moments that molds, shapes and sculpts our persona. It’s up to us to Choose the ones we desire.


Cosmic sunshine to you. ☀️


I would highly recommend two books if you have dealt with or are having continuing unresolved traumas from outside events:

‘The Goddess in Every Woman,’ ‘The Gods in Every Man,’ each by Jean Shinoda Bolen. She addresses the archetypes within each of us from the perspective of the Greek gods. They can add fire and strength to our character profiles in times of need and introspection into the good experiences.


Candia Sanders is an international medical intuitive, high-frequency energy healer, motivator, speaker, teacher, author, the ultimate optimist, and outdoor enthusiast, who has helped thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is the author of the transcendent book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“. She has also written a lively magical and spiritual children’s adventure called “The Adventures of Jack Starr, In Hawaii.” “When Eagles Soar: From Diagnosis, to Death and to Open Dialogue” is her story through cancer and beyond, with her husband who died in 2016. Her goal is to create a new conversation about Death.

Upcoming books: “I Don’t Know, It’s a Mystery: 11 Prompts to Awaken Your Cosmic Connection” ”The Four R’s: Rules to Navigate Life’s Big Questions,” “Head Off, Heart On: Salacious Delights and Tantalizing Treats for Happy Relationships”





About Candia Sanders

I love life! I love the abundance, beauty, magnificence, color, emotions, prolific sensuous joys, relationships, animals, nature, spiritual "magic"- the Aliveness - of which humanness reveals. Combine that with sharp, keen intuitive insight and it's a recipe for fun in the fast lane. Intuitive since young, combined with a natural ability to heal has created an arena where possibilities are open and opportunities abound. International Intuitive and Energetic Healer, Medical Intuitive, Psychic
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