Have you seen or remember the movie “Always,” Steven Spielberg’s movie with Richard Dreyfuss, Holly Hunter and John Goodman, (~Goodman rocks in this movie~) about death, love remembered, and learning the message of love, service and redemption? It’s an oldie. If you haven’t, put it on your Netflix list, or just re-watch for fun. Richard Dreyfuss learns a most valued lesson of sharing the love of his life with someone else on earth as he is no longer in the physical realms. Hap, played by the lovely Audrey Hepburn in her last movie, eloquently educates our protagonist on being an X-factor-cavalier-risk-taker-lose-your-life after-a hundred-warnings-kind-of-guy, so you’d better face the consequences of your choices, to lessons of love in the grander expansive universal network. Eventually Dreyfuss learns his lessons however they come with the high cost of “letting go” of his “love,” which doesn’t come easily. I feel just maybe, I’m experiencing a bit of similar emotional reluctance from the Other Side, or this “could be all my wild imagination.” But for those who know me, and you don’t have to know me well, you know unequivocally that’s not the case. I do feel, I could use some of “Hap’s” loving energy and gentle reminders to help heal the process.
However before I get to the story, I have to state a few things. Everyone is different. Everyone lets go, moves forward at their own pace after and through a major crisis. Period. There are no wrong or right ways. Some might have judgement on what I’m sharing and not approve, and if so, please read no further. I don’t want to take you there. If you want to hear an interesting goosebumps-down-to-your-ankles kind of event, please read on. No judgement is the price of admission.
When someone is diagnosed with cancer and given three months to live, you begin the grieving process. Your role also changes from a partner to a caregiver and those intimate moments are no longer a reality. It’s just the way it is. In my case, sex went away three years ago. That’s not good for this girl, but it was the way it was. Just truth. (For those that are uncomfortable, just push the exit arrow now and read another blog. Remember I warned you.)
So, it’s been literally years. And remember there is no going back; it’s all in the rear view mirror no matter what. I make a good sound choice to move forward, a decision it’s time to move out of the “nun” role and invited a good friend to share our birthday celebration weekend here at the cabin. The cabin where my husband died, (in what feels like ages ago due to the multitudinous challenges with his company since his death.) Okay, you’re getting the picture. We are in the shower; Mr C gets out and is drying near the sink. I’m still in the shower. And no I’m not giving nitty gritty details. All of a sudden at that exact moment, the picture on the wall falls, slamming to the floor. A piece of hook from the back of the picture is still on the wall. See exhibit A below. And the back of the photo looks like it’s been literally pulled hard off the wall. See exhibit B. It’s pretty up front and real. The picture just gave way at that exact fortitudinous moment after all these years or it had help? You decide.
But wait there’s more! That night, all night, on the headboard was a continual tapping of what sounded like Morse Code, fingernails clicking, tapping out an irregular beat. All night. Not on the wall, or table or ceiling, but right above our heads. All night. Upon waking the first question was- “Did you hear the…??” “The tapping on the headboard?” “Yes, it sounded like, da,dot,dada, dot…” Have I ever heard that before in all the 24 years of being here? No. Have I heard it since everyone left? No.
Now Dale, my deceased husband and I have been communicating up to this point since he passed, (please revisit previous blogs since the first of February which are much more spiritually revealing) however I hadn’t moved emotionally forward with my life. I now am. I feel these were very strong messages indicating what? I’m sure something, but rather than psycho-analyze them to death…every pun intended…I’d rather just ask “Hap” to come intervene and offer up some lovingly good sound remembrances of what love is all about.
And of course lots of bright white happy light to shift the energy foreword.
Cosmic sunshine to you.