“It’s Always All About Us”

Funny how it works. We think “it’s” outside ourselves, all the turmoil, stress, chaos of relationships, work, politics …the emotional triggers…however the more I do inner work – explore greater potentials- I’m in total alignment with the Hoponopono concept and Buddhist principles, it’s our story, our garbage we need to clean up. If there’s an emotional trigger from an event or something someone says, or an expectation that sets up an uncomfortable reaction – anger, hurt, sadness, rejection, fear, etc. etc-  in our solar plexus, our lower backs, neck, our thinking, well then, it’s time to do some self examination. It’s a much more gratifying and successful mission than complaining, grousing, judging, blaming and shaming.

Hoponopono is the Polynesian belief we focus direct healing energy within ourselves on whatever the situation or distress the outer worlds are presenting to us. The mantra is, “I’m sorry, Forgive me, I love you.” We can rearrange those words in any fashion. The concept is we have all the woes and ills of the world within us as the timelines are deep and far reaching. Even if you can’t wrap around multiple lifetimes, just the genetic DNA of cellular memory connects us to every ancestor’s deeds and misdeeds. Thus a ton of forgiveness work needs to happen. This is just as important for all the political strife. Go within, heal us before we shout and point fingers.

I’ve known one of my emotional triggers is sex. Others don’t flinch when I cringe. For others their triggers can be money, security, food, safety, injustice, disceit, power and control and/or a myriad of other insecurity issues. Triggers are interesting. I feel my triggers in my solar plexus, third chakra challenges of self worth, esteem, will power, confidence. It goes to my core of “I’m not enough.” I know some of these fears are not mine but carrydowns from my genetic pool but others are definitely mine. I attract people to me that trigger those buttons, forcing me to examine my beliefs, my ‘self,’ and walk my talk. Obviously if people or situations show up that instill within ourselves triggering fears and create reasons to step back and examine, there’s a bigger reason, something that needs addressing and healing.

Something said recently anchored in my over-critical mind, spinning round and round on my lazy-susan examining table, as I tried to make sense of it, not take personally and see it from another angle, a male perspective. I actually work hard on bridging the male/female gaps as there are always two sides and the male/female mind differences can be chasms apart especially when it comes to sex. Again, this is just my trigger. Rather than do my regular cross-examination conversation, I decided to take a different approach. I went into a quiet space, and started repeating the “I’m sorry, Forgive me, I love you,” mantra to all aspects, all timelines, all pieces of me. I know these also represent all of us as we are all One whether we really believe or not. It’s still truth. I know every side of the human sexual story has been mine to witness and experience from betrayal, affairs, control, prostitution, straight, gay, trans-everything, abuse, rape pillage, disrespect, whore, slut, orgies- hell- every dark sexual misogynistic misuse of power and disconnection.

“I’m sorry. Forgive me. I love you.”


I can honestly say, without doing anything else, my over-active mind quieted. The weight I’d felt around the issue has completely disappeared. Even the exact content of how things were presented have softened, no longer having impact. By forgiving myself, my lineage, I have no judgement, criticism or reaction to someone else. How can I when some aspect of myself is just as complicit in the actions?

My invitation is to “look within” the next time an instant “re”action is elicited, (“re” means to repeat, do again, highlighting the past) or an emotional insecurity is triggered. Quiet the mind and repeat the mantra, like counting shells on a beach, or rosary beads, or taking steps around a labyrinth. Breathe steadily. Believe our silent yet powerful actions are making huge and paramount changes if only within ourselves. Then we truly are the change we need to see in the world. Remember it really is always all about us.

Cosmic sunshine to you.

Sex and misappropriation of intention, are two of the biggest, most critical areas on the planet in need of clean-up and change. It begins with us. So pull out the mops and cleaners, scrub brushes and towels. Put on the apron and cap and let’s all go to work. From the inside out.


Candia Sanders is an International Medical Intuitive, Healer, Author and Speaker -an Eternal Optimist- who has helped countless thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is also the author of the transcendent new book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“.


About Candia Sanders

I love life! I love the abundance, beauty, magnificence, color, emotions, prolific sensuous joys, relationships, animals, nature, spiritual "magic"- the Aliveness - of which humanness reveals. Combine that with sharp, keen intuitive insight and it's a recipe for fun in the fast lane. Intuitive since young, combined with a natural ability to heal has created an arena where possibilities are open and opportunities abound. International Intuitive and Energetic Healer, Medical Intuitive, Psychic
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